My biggest challenge when I started my meditation practice, and this won't be news to anyone: it was that mental battle of, "why bother", "it's hard", "I'm squirmy", "how do I know if it's working?" What kept me coming back to my mat was the challenge of wrestling my ego into submission and my desire to achieve my highest and best use. There were times on my meditation mat when I was going head to head with my ego. I would say to myself, "Ok, so stop meditating then, go back to your life as it was, you're right, it's hard and you can't do it." I gave voice to the defeated side of Me and listened to her gripe and complain. I wanted to see if she had anything valid to say. She didn't. She just seemed weak and unhappy, whiny, small, and boring. It's amazing that such a voice can be housed inside of us. Then, I asked myself if that aligns with who I believe I am? If that's the person I want to face the world with everyday. Getting a meditation practice started and sticking with it takes loads of discipline and self-mastery, but it is extremely possible for those who are dedicated, steadfast, and insistent. I much prefer thinking of myself like that versus someone who feels powerless, defeated, or untrained.
