Healing Pool

I am including her post from Facebook this morning because I thought it was beautiful, insightful and worth the read.

Well, it has taken awhile for me to announce this, but considering my doc has kept me home for two weeks, and people are starting to ask what is going on, here it goes: I have been diagnosed with the two C's: Cancer and COVID. In November, I went in to the doc for a bruise. We both came to the conclusion that it was a spider bite, but she wanted to do a routine physical on December 23rd, since I hadn't had one for awhile. The day after the physical, on Christmas Eve, I was called and told to get to the ER right away because of my white cell count. (Apparently the bruise was not a spider bite.) So, I figured I had an infection, went to the ER, was pulled for three different blood tests (on the third, I finally told the dude he was a vampire), and then a very abrupt ER doctor came in to tell me I had Leukemia. It is pretty difficult to be told that in a room where your fiance can't even be with you, and it was a moment when my jaw just hit the floor. The ER doc, finally seeing how upset I was, squeezed my knee and apologized for being so blunt but said she didn't want to sugar coat it. Really???? I waited for the hemotologist, and he drove from T.O. to Simi just to meet me. He had a very calming presence and told me that he thought it was CML (chronic myeloid leukemia). It is treatable with a pill and can go back into remission. So, I ended up leaving the ER on Christmas Eve with a sense of calmness. When I got in the truck, I told Rick, "Well, now you know how far I will go to see if you love me." We both giggled, cried a little, and are continuing to take each day (and test) one day at a time. It has been a roller coaster for all of us, but the girls, Morgan and Justin made Christmas amazing!! I really am blessed to have great friends and family (Stewart and Ready) who have my back and check on me. What else can a girl ask for? So, since Christmas, I have been through many more tests: blood tests and a bone marrow test (Holy fuckballs!! That was unpleaaant!!!). Then, two weeks ago, three days after my bone marrow test, Rick and I got sick with COVID. It took us both down pretty hard. It was not fun!!! I have friends who believe in masks and vaccines and ones who don't. I respect you all, but I do have a little insight that some people may not realize. COVID symptoms can last longer in people with leukemia, and also, when people with cancer get COVID, it delays their treatment. So, almost two weeks after covid, I am still having to wait to start my pill. Ugh. It will be over a month since diagnosis before I will start treatment. My bone marrow test came back yesterday and is the final confirmation that it is indeed CML with a Philadelphia Chromosome change (best case scenario out of the leukemias), and I am anemic to put the icing on the cake. I will singlehandedly help CVS stay in business this year while filling prescriptions. Lol Everything we encounter in life is an opportunity to learn a lesson. I firmly believe this. I don't need to hear, "I'm sorry," or see tears. I am aware that there is something I am meant to learn from this, whatever it may be. What I don't mind hearing is, "Holy shit!" or..."How are you doing?" Or..."I will send love, light or prayers." I am okay with all of those things. In the scheme of things, and most days, I am calm. It took me weeks to say the words 'oncologist' or 'leukemia' (like somehow if I didn't speak the words it wasn't true...), but now they are starting to become part of my vocabulary. I have learned that I have absolutely amazing friends whom I consider family (They have kept quiet until I was ready to share my story.), and I have family that loves me unconditionally. (btw...Please don't bombard my family with questions. My dad has enough on his plate taking care of my mom suffering from Alzheimer's, and my sisters work their asses off to provide for their families and to also help my mom and dad. Feel free to IM me if you have questions.) I am a very lucky lady to be so blessed!!! I have also learned that patience is definitely not one of my virtues, and I really need to work on this skill. Last, but not least, I have solidified the fact that laughter is the best medicine for me, so keep the jokes coming! Is it a coping mechanism? Maybe, but it is part of who I am, and I am fine with that. The symbol attached is something that I have always felt is beautiful. It is called the unalome. Here is its meaning: "In Buddhism, the unalome symbol represents the path to enlightenment. The spiral characterizes the crown or head of Buddha. It is also the beginning of the unalome. As you progress through life's path, the twists and turns and ups and downs in the pattern signify the struggles". The big C just happens to be one of my twists and turns. It doesn't define me. It enlightens me. It is just one of the many twists and turns I've had, and will continue to have, in my life. So, I will continue to post quotes about strength, funny memes and videos, and anything I find worthy. Don't read into it. They are just all things I find beautiful, things I think will help people along their journey, or things I think someone may need to get them through a tough day. The world needs more positives in it; so hopefully, I will provide some. May we all continue to grow as humans through our twists and turns.